Travel Gear

Behold: A Hilariously Gigantic Swiss Army Knife

Picture of the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant with it's various tools out and displayed.If you’re traveling light on your next vacation adventure this is definitely not the Swiss Army knife to bring with you.

In fact, you probably don’t want to bring this Swiss Army Knife anywhere at all.

Maybe just keep it in a very sturdy drawer, or set it on your coffee table as a conversation piece.

Because this my friends is the mother of all Swiss Army knives.

Called the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant, this Swiss Army knife weighs an insane 7 pounds, is 8 inches wide, and probably has more tools than you have in your toolbox.

Picture of a Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant standing up next to a boot so that you can see just how big it is.Along with the normal things you’d expect a Swiss Army knife to have, the Wenger 16999 Giant has accessories that will make you lol.

Mineral crystal magnifier, fiber optic tool holder, club face cleaner. And if you ever need a tire tread gauge the Wenger 16999 Giant has it, though I have pity for anyone who lets this monstrosity of a Swiss Army knife around their tires.

It’s interesting to imagine someone hauling this unwieldy monster of a Swiss Army knife out and trying to use it when they need a screwdriver or something… though come to think of it that would make a hilarious prank.

Er, hilarious but expensive since it sells for over $1,000. But hey then you’d have the giant paperweight you’ve always wanted :D.

I just thought of another use for the Wegner 16999 Giant, you could lug it over to the nightstand, set it on it’s side, and use it as a travel alarm clock. Oh wait…strangely…it doesn’t have an alarm clock. That’s too bad, you think they’d have found room for one somewhere between the watch case back opening tool and the compass.

Picture of the large Swiss Army knife Victorinox Swiss Army SwissChamp XAVT.But if you really have your heart set on a Swiss Army knife travel alarm clock then you could go for the slightly less ridiculous Victorinox SwissChamp XAVT.

It not only has an alarm clock but also an altimeter, thermometer, pruning blade, and sewing eye.

While not as ginormous as the Wengner Giant, the Victorinox SwissChamp is still quite hefty with it’s 80 tools and seems like it would be pretty darn inconvenient to use.

I must be wrong though, because they sell a leather carrying pouch for the SwissChamp so more than a few people out there have got to be traveling with it! I’d like to see that in action haha.

June 2, 2013
Destinations

Ever Wonder If Emus And Kangaroos Can Walk Backwards? I Didn’t, Until…

Picture of an emu and a kangaroo with the text that says Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.

I saw this and wondered if it could be true.

I’m reading a travel book about Australia right now called In A Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson, and am most of the way through it but haven’t seen anything about this.

Picture of the book cover for In A Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson that shows a kangaroo and baby in Australia.Emus and kangaroos not being able to walk backwards seems like the quirky kind of thing that Bill Bryson would put into a travel book but… maybe I haven’t quite gotten to that part yet or something.

I certainly have gotten to plenty of parts about deadly and otherwise dangerous things that naturally creep, swim, and crawl in various parts of Australia though. *shudders*

Okay so where were we? Oh yeah, could it really be true that the emu and kangaroo are on the Australian coat of arms because they can’t walk backwards? And are they even on the coat of arms at all?

To the Wikimobile!

Turns out that yes there is an emu and a kangaroo on the Australian coat of arms , a kangaroo on the left and an emu on the right and both of them are holding up the shield.

According to Wikipedia the red kangaroo and the emu are both ‘unofficial emblems of the nation’ because they’re the most well-known animals that are native to Australia and Australia only.

An old picture of the Australian coat of arms that has an emu and a kangaroo holding up a shield and the words Advance Australia under it.I do have bad news though, both the emu and kangaroo can move backwards. Okay maybe that’s not bad news for emu and kangaroos lol but yes they can move backwards.

It’s just that they don’t walk backwards very often so apparently it’s become a commonly held belief that they can’t walk backwards because of that.

So there you have it: emus and kangaroos can move backwards, forwards, sideways, and apparently also hold up shields.

June 2, 2013
Destinations

Captain James Cook Sails Again, Kind Of…

Picture of a wax figure of Captain James Cook in a tour boat in Sydney, Australia.“Oh hai, didn’t see you there Mr. Strangely Dressed Captain Guy.

Buy hey since I’m here, I’m wondering if you could take a moment off from staring bravely into the distance and point me towards where the bathroom is on this boat.

Erm…hello?”

When I first saw this picture I thought this guy was part of one of those history boat tours where someone dresses up like a famous person of historical significance and pretends to be them the whole tour.

You know, pointing out different landmarks and attractions while copping a fake accent and dropping in well-timed historical references.

But I was wrong.

Turns out it is actually a wax figure of Captain James Cook that was brought out and given a boat ride to celebrate some events that were happening in Sydney, Australia. Specifically the opening of a new wax figure museum and the launching of a new boat for one of the cruise companies there.

Picture of a boat with a wax figure of Captain Cook on the top sailing near Sydney, Australia.The tie in with Captain Cook is that during one of his famous voyages he observed a transit of Venus across the Sun which only happens once every couple hundred years …and that same transit of Venus was happening again around the time of the big events happening at the two businesses.

Sooo, yeah. But really any excuse is a good excuse to do something as quirky as take a wax figure out for a boat ride.

And if you ever find yourself on a boat in the waters by Sydney, Australia, keep an eye on the other boats. You never know when you might spot a waxy ghost from the past.

May 3, 2013